The Weight of the Call
One of my most favorite Christmas songs is “Breath of Heaven” by Amy Grant. This song is about Mary, the mother of Jesus. It is about the weight of the call on her life, as God had asked her to carry His son. This call didn’t come without a heavy price… the price of forfeiting her reputation, the price of possibly losing her life because of the laws of that time, the price of stability and comfort and let’s not forget that purity until marriage was so very valuable to women in her day and she would be giving that to God also… Her young body would go through so many changes, she would be raising a child as a teenager – the Son of God at that. She would face judgement and rejection from those who couldn’t understand… this young lady had a heavy calling on her life.
In agreeing to accept this call, she knew her life – entire life – would never be the same. She now had to learn to care for her body during the months of pregnancy, then she would have to take this baby boy named Yeshua and raise Him, knowing in her heart the prophecies of Isaiah and Micah (Is. 9:6-7; Mic. 5) that He would give His life for the world. She had to steward well the gift God had entrusted her with – knowing when to hold tight and when to release. What a weight on her life, yet it was such a beautiful gift worthy of the sacrifice. But no matter how heavy it was, she offered all she was for the mercy of His plan!
At the beginning of Breath of Heaven, it says “Holy Father, You have come and chosen me now to carry Your Son…” Did you know according to the book of Ephesians, you and I have been chosen for the exact same thing? To carry His Son?! He is in us, and we are in Him. The call is no different for us today then it was for Mary then. She understood to a point the immense importance of her sacrificial surrender and obedience, for her carrying the Son of God was nothing to play with. This is the same mindset we need today but many in the Church have no clue of the significance of their salvation and that it comes with a heavy price! The price of forfeiting our worldly reputation, the price of being deemed politically incorrect by the laws of today while also standing up for truth, the price of stability and comfort… the price of turning back to the altar, sacrificing the flesh to walk a life of purity and holiness – giving ourselves to God. Our lives will change so much that people will no longer recognize us, sometimes we won’t even recognize ourselves when we look back – I know I don’t. We will face judgement more from the religious than from the world and rejection, well… just learn to smile in the face of rejection and keep moving forward. It’s a weight, but it’s a beautiful gift worthy of the sacrifice.
This has proven to be very true in my own life. As I grow in my relationship with God, learn more and more the truth in surrender and sacrifice… the more I learn to let His fire burn off the dross and the more I learn of His specific call for me, the more weight I feel and one battle I’ve had this last year is feeling worthy of or wise enough for this specific call on my life. As I was listening to Breath of Heaven a few weeks ago, I found myself with tear filled eyes as I heard this line … “Do You wonder as You watch my face if a wiser one should have had my place? But I offer all I am for the mercy of Your plan… Help me be strong…” I’ve listened to this song so many times, but for some reason this was the first time I actually ‘heard’ this line. I suddenly felt like it was me in the song. There are times we miss it; I know I do and when I do it doesn’t take long for the enemy to come in with the lie … “You will never get it right; God should have chosen someone else.” So, as I listened, I began to wonder if Mary went through times that she felt that way. I believe there were probably times in Mary’s life carrying Yeshua, raising Him, and letting Him go to the cross, that she wondered if she was pleasing God and doing it all right. Not that it’s about works, but how we steward the gifts are very important.
This is where I’ve found myself for the last year, questioning if I am correctly stewarding all that He has entrusted me with. It started in January of this year… As I sat on an airplane returning from a ministry trip to Mexico, I was conversing with God about how humbled I was that He would choose to use me as He had over that last week. As I poured out my heart, I heard so clearly, “Do you trust Me?” I replied with, “absolutely I do!” He went on, “You’ve given Me your all… your talents, your dreams, your life; you live on the altar, but there’s one thing you’ve not surrendered.” I said, “then show me what else You want.” He said, “Are you willing to give me back the gifts I have given you? Your anointing, your mantle, and your future office? I need you to trust Me with this and lean not on your own understanding in this season.” I didn’t understand this at all. Maybe I wasn’t stewarding the call properly. Maybe I let Him down. I’m just being real here… Why would He give me gifts if He just wanted them back? So, this has been a much-needed lesson in my life this last year, but it wasn’t until these last few weeks that He has actually given me the clarity and revelation of our conversation.
Sunday, November 20th it seemed that God wanted to continue our conversation after about 9 months of setting on it. For 9 months I had been trying to understand the ‘why’ in all of it. I had spent so much time trying to figure out what it looked like and why He asked me this, that I had not fully followed through. In my time of prayer, He said, “The anointing on your life carries great value, but unless you lay it on the altar, I can’t resurrect it to its fullness. I didn’t ask you to lay your gifts, anointing and office on the altar just because; I asked you because I can do more with it than you can… are you ready?” This seriously astonished me; I hadn’t understood any part of that until then. He wants it back because He can do more with it in His hands than I can in my own clutches. As the Holy Spirit ministered to me in the moment, I felt the weight get heavier. Over the last year He has been changing my heart toward some areas of ministry that I had never imagined being a part of. I had always believed that my anointing was for ‘in’ the four walls of the Church – in my human mind they have been very limited… but He has so much more in store, and I’ve had to fully realize that I’m called to some areas outside of the four walls, so I must put them back into His hands and trust that He will resurrect them for their true purpose. I’ve had to learn to release what I’ve held so tight to.
Mary had to do the same thing. As I said earlier, she had to know when to hold tight and when to release. Her son, Yeshua, in the flesh – within her grip, was doing amazing things for many people but his ultimate reach was measurable. She had to be able to release Him into the hands of the all-knowing God as she watched Him go to the altar (the cross) for all mankind… so God could resurrect Him, and His reach would be absolutely immeasurable! He could now bring salvation to ALL! Because of her willingness to put her gift back into the hands of the Father, her gift was resurrected into something that she probably had a hard time imagining. Just as He wants to do with yours and with mine, if we are willing to learn when it's time to release!
God is about to do some new and unique things in the lives of those who have ears to hear what the Spirit is saying, yield to Him and follow it up with obedience. There will be some who have had their minds set in one direction, suddenly find themselves at a turn in the road that puts them on a completely different path. There will be some who find themselves feeling the stirring of hunger inside of their inner man, a stirring that will begin to draw them into the deeper places of God, places of true intimacy. In those places they will discover new dreams and passions. There will be some who will have an encounter with the Spirit of God like they never have before – in this encounter they will find their identity, leaving behind all that they had built themselves in order to move into the fullness of His call. There will be many who will buckle under the weight of His glory – those who are willing to give it all for the call.
It's going to be weighty, but it’s through the weight of the call that we develop the strength to endure!!
He’s speaking… who is listening?
Mary heard what the Spirit of God was saying, she was able to see beyond herself, trust that He had a plan, and accept the fullness of His call.
Are you willing to do the same? Are you willing to trust Him in all your ways, leaning not on your own understanding and your own ideas of how you believe things should go... releasing when He says release?
I’m going to tell you as the Holy Spirit has told me… “The anointing on your life carries great value, but unless you lay it all on the altar, He can’t resurrect it to it’s fullness.” Are you ready?
I want to encourage you today in a few areas…
1. Please know you have been chosen by God to carry His son! It’s a weight and there’s a price but it is worth it, I promise! You have the choice to be the carrier of the very presence of God. All you have to do is say YES to His call! He chooses you; will you choose Him??
2. Stand firm against the lies of the enemy telling you that you are a mess up and God can’t use you! God chose you with imperfections and all! God created you and He wants to walk hand in hand with you as your grow from glory to glory, learning to be more like Him. He loves you and He wants to use you for His great work!! Don’t retreat into the stronghold of discouragement!! You are chosen!!
3. Those of you who feel stuck and like you are spinning your wheels going nowhere… pause in His presence and ask Him what is next. Maybe you are holding on too tight to the gifts, the mantle of anointing or maybe even your title or office and you are being limited by your own abilities. It might be time for you to lay it ALL on the altar so that He can resurrect you and all He has given you, HIS WAY!!! Oh, the plans He has for you!
Father, I pray that all who read this find themselves desiring You at a deeper level. Open our ears to hear You clearer than we ever have. Help us to pause in Your presence, waiting in silence for Your instructions as we move forward into 2023. Father, You have created us all so uniquely and I pray that we all begin to see the uniqueness of our call, realizing that we can no longer grasp for straws just for opportunities to be seen, but it’s time to lay it all on the altar so that it can all be resurrected into the fullness of Your plan! Thank You Father for loving us, choosing us, and leading us!! In Jesus name, amen!