Humility, Compassion, Healing
For the last 14 days I have had an internal battle that attacked hard and unexpected... this battle had a name... called COVID-19 and it proved to be more than a simple, physical sickness.
Because of finding myself in a health crisis a few years ago I had to get before God and discover what it means to stand firmly for divine healing. For the last several years I have stood firmly on 1 Peter 2:24, Psalm 91, Isaiah 53:4-5... I am a true believer that I have power and authority over all sickness and disease and because I am a carrier of His very presence, there is no unclean thing that an touch me and live. I’ve experienced it and I know it in the depths of my knowing to be true... So, when I found myself testing positive for this virus I found myself very confused, then angry... then came all the insane symptoms.
Fever for 10 days, brain fog that makes you feel dead in the head, body aches that won’t go away, your hair hurts, your eyes hurt to move them, your skin hurts... you can’t stay awake... then the cough, congestion, chest pains.. ya... it’s yuck!
Before I contracted the virus, I didn’t understand it. I didn’t think it was “that bad”, I argued with people about getting the vaccine, I had no compassion for those who have had it. Because again, I didn’t understand.
During one night of my lamenting to God... angry, confused, tired, hurting... letting Him know that I’m done! The brain fog was so bad I couldn’t read my Word, I lost my hunger for my Jesus, His Word, prayer, all of it! I was scared this was the rest of my life... sound drastic? Yes, yes it does, but it was a very real attack on my belief system. The best way to put words to this is as Pam Coston describes it... “it feels like a direct attack on the soul!” You feel like you’re no longer in reality... somethings just not right.
During the lamenting all I kept hearing was “humble yourself”. Well, God, if there is one thing I ask daily it is “search me and keep me humble before You! Less of me and all of YOU!” But I wasn’t understanding because I didn’t see pride in my life and I was so brain fogged it just didn’t make sense.
It wasn’t until, Sunday - 3/21/21, my first day out after quarantine, that I began to see what my Father was saying... “humble yourself My daughter.” Let me explain...
My dream, my deepest, deepest desire is to walk as Peter walked. To be so much like Jesus Christ that our shadows are one.. that His spirit in me is the very thing people feel, see, experience.. who cares about Sabrina?! I want them to see Jesus and I want people to be healed!
I’ve been given a lot of different advice through this sickness... medical advice, what to expect, look for, etc... much appreciated... and I’ve been given spiritual advice from many who have never experienced it... and I will say, their advice carried no weight of compassion and when you’re facing this... you know all the spiritual stuff to do, but you don’t have it in you to do it. You just need someone to say, “I get it... let me just listen” you need someone willing to have compassion. It’s not something you can just GET OVER or STOP FOCUSING ON...
believe me, I’ve set down with my Bible many days, knowing what I am to do... but unable to read bc of the pain in my eyes or the fog in my head. I’ve set in my prayer room and not had the energy to mumble a single word although internally I wanted to scream out to God...
This morning someone said something to me that I wanted to scream back at them... “just shut up! You have no clue what you’re talking about!!”
As I was setting in church I began to think about Jesus and His heart for people, all people...
God loves a compassionate heart, He carries the same heart for His children... when you feel all is lost, weak, done... He sweeps in with compassion..
Deuteronomy 32:36 (NASB)
“For the LORD will vindicate His people, And will have compassion on His servants, when He sees that their strength is gone, and there is none remaining, bond or free.
Isaiah 30:18 (NASB)
Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him.
Almost every single time Jesus healed someone it says before it, “He felt compassion for them...”
this word compassion is splagchnizomai in the Greek, it means deep sympathy, feeling for them from the depths of the gut, being deeply moved by their hurt, sickness, their suffering!
Before Jesus healed, He felt their hurt, their suffering, His heart ached for them. Then He spoke healing! He didn’t say, “you need to just get over this! Get focused on Me! Just stop saying the wrong words, etc!” No!
He felt them, hurt for them, listened to them, then healed them.
Isaiah 49:10 (NASB)
“They will not hunger or thirst, nor will the scorching heat or sun strike them down; for He who has compassion on them will lead them, and He will guide them to springs of water.
When we have compassion like Jesus, we lead people to the spring of living water... Jesus (John 4)
Remember me saying I stood firm on the healing Word? I did! I do! But I also judged those who got sick without even realizing it! ‘Hmmmm... maybe their faith isn’t strong enough! Maybe they don’t understand how to stand on the Word! They just need to get it!’ When I prayed healing over people I would tell them... “just believe because the Word says you are healed! Get your scriptures and stand on them! Focus on Him!” Not stopping long enough to show compassion, to feel their hurt, to see that they truly are struggling deep inside to even stay alive let alone possibly find scriptures to stand on. I have repented of this mindset, that’s for sure! Our job isn’t to judge their understanding of healing... our job is to compassionately lead them to The Healer!
This afternoon I believe I heard Him say…
”Humble yourself daughter! Humble yourself and judge not lest you be judged! Compassion is better then sacrifice! Compassion for others brings healing in their lives! Compassion for others leads them to Me, I Am the One Who heals! Humble yourself daughter, have compassion for others and see Me work through you!”
Colossians 3:12 (NASB)
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience;
The next time someone is sick, physically or emotionally... don’t go at them with pride, judgement and a know it all attitude throwing scripture in their face! They may know all the right verses to quote and prayers to speak, and they may not, but our job is to ask Holy Spirit to let us be a people of compassion... feel them, know whether they voice it or not, they are hurting... listen to them…. pray from THAT place not a place of theological knowledge.
Pray from compassion and see Jesus work!